She's a Walkin' Girl

"The loving mother teaches the child to walk alone. She is far enough from him so that she cannot actually support him, but she holds out her arms to him. She imitates his movements, as if he totters, she swiftly bends as if to seize him, so that the child might believe he is not walking alone....And yet, she does more. Her face beckons like a reward, an encouragement. Thus, the child walks alone with his eyes fixed on his mother's face, not on the difficulties in his way. He supports himself by the arms that do not hold him and constantly strives towards the refuge in his mother's embrace, little suspecting that in the very same moment that he is emphasizing his need for her, he is proving that he can do without her, because he is walking alone." (Kierkegaard, 1983)

So last night was rough for me. It finally hit me that my baby is not really a baby anymore. Since the beginning, I have been a provider for her. She cries and I run to her aid. I am familiar with the sounds of her being hungry, tired, or needing a change. And I was able to soothe her by taking care of those simple acts. She is now developing her own self apart from me. Selfishness, boredom, impatience, curiousity, and testing her limits (as I know she will continue to do the rest of her life). I read this snip from a book and just lost it. I am so proud of her and excited about all that she is learning, but it is hard for me to let go of that baby that I enjoyed so much. My husband said "A baby couldn't wrap her arms around you and kiss you like Luna does... thats a good thing." It's bittersweet.

Today while I was making dinner in the kitchen, Gerald and Luna were waiting in the dining room. All of the sudden Luna lets go of a chair and walks about 8 steps toward the kitchen! After that, she was walking all over the living room. Not just a couple steps at a time, but from one side to the other, turning and everything! Granted, there were a couple uneasy stumbles, but she got right back up! About 2 weeks ago, she attempted 3 steps toward me but we hadn't seen anything more until today. I think she was studying until she knew she could perfect it the first time. Impressive!

This was toward the end of the night and she was getting tired. My little baby turning into a big girl. *Sniffle*